// I’m dying//

Did Insanity’s fit test today. 

I guess I got tired of myself just… being myself. 

It was really hard and I felt like dying. I got really dizzy afterwards and felt a little ashamed that I let myself get down to this point. Then I remembered that Insanity’s fit test is hard, and that Insanity is also harder than just straight up running. 

// Your body is 75% nutrition and 25% fitness//

Or something like that. 

I saw how my body looked, realized how badly I had been eating. It’s hurting my workouts, and it’s hurting my progress. The funny thing is, I didn’t even like what I was eating, but I mindlessly ate it. And then right after, feel really crappy. I would get diarrhea or feel tired and groggy or feel bloated. 

No more. I’m going back on track. I want to feel awesome.

As a result of weight lifting, my arms are becoming more defined, and I like it. I think it looks great. My thighs are starting to look more muscular. I’ve always been the type to tone up really fast. I get this from my dad’s side of the family, and I would say that it’s both a blessing and a curse. I will never be stick skinny like the Korean models or singers, but if I were to be the same body fat percentage, I would look curvy and athletic.

As is, I have too much fat covering my muscles already. I want to get rid of it. 

I’m going to go back to my workouts and my get back my healthier eating habits. I’m going to give it 110%. I’m going to do it, and I’m going to make it. 

// I may not be as thin as I was in high school, but I am more fit and healthy now than I was then. And that makes me feel very happy.//

// Gym and Day 3 of P90X//

So I skipped a day of the workout and now I’m a day  behind, but it’s still all good. At the end of today, everything seriously feels like jelly.

I went to the gym today to run, because I was too lazy to put on sunblock to run outside. In a way, it’s a good and a bad thing. I normally don’t like to go to the gym because of how expensive gas has become, but since I don’t have to drive up to SF until the fall comes around, I thought that I could afford going to to the school gym. 

I like treadmill running, but I prefer running outside more. Treadmill running is great for working on pace. I actually can run for the entire half hour plus on the treadmill, but outside? I walk. I really need to work on pacing.

Anyways, that’s the good part about going to the gym.

Now, I know this is terrible, but I’m still self conscious, and when I was running, a fitter, thinner woman decided to run next to me, and she was running at 6.5 miles, and since I felt like a cow, I decided to push myself. Not only did I end up running much faster than I thought I was going to, but I was doing it at an incline (which she wasn’t). While it did suck that I felt a little bit ashamed of myself, in the end it cheered me up that there was some good that came out of it. Because of her, I pushed myself, and I got more out of my workout than I would have if she wasn’t there. I also surprised myself at how much stronger and faster I got. Two months ago, I wouldn’t have been able to go at the pace I have. I wouldn’t have been able to run for half an hour straight. I wouldn’t have been able to even run at 6.7 miles for two minutes. I felt like jelly right after, but I’m really happy that I got a good workout.

In the end, I’m really proud of myself, and I think I should go to the gym more often to work on my pacing.